Comment Wall

Click HERE to view my portfolio project!

Storytelling, Pinterest


  1. Hey Shary,
    I just checked out your portfolio and read your first story. First, I think your website has a great look that goes with your overall theme of the portfolio perfectly. It is definitely one of the most unique designs I have seen thus far. For some reason some of the clickable images weren't loading correctly for me the first few times I tried to open it, but eventually they showed up and I was able to navigate around your portfolio, not sure what could have caused that.
    I loved your work on the first story, and the pictures you chose really helped me form a fun mental image while reading through it. It had the classic Shakespearean tragedy feel to it as well, which I thought was awesome and probably was exactly what you were going for. Maybe try some tongue-in-cheek humor next time as well to add to that feel for the genre. Well done and I'm looking forward to reading more.

  2. Hello again Shary! I actually ran across your site previously and didn’t get to talk about it too much in my last post, so I intend to focus on it a little more here! First and foremost, I don’t think I need to tell you how aesthetically pleasing it is to look at your design…BUT I’m going to anyways. Maybe you captured me with a nice banner of some crisp books, or maybe it was the choice of the font, but you did a phenomenal job in creating a warm atmosphere for your site (Is that even possible?). I’ve read your story through a few iterations and I think you’ve done well based upon some of the suggestions that I’ve seen from other people. I thought it was an interesting choice to provide black and white pictures along with your writing, and I feel like I’ve gained some variation in my artistry so I want to thank you intensely for spending some time in the development of both your site and your story!

  3. Hey Shary

    First of all I wanted to say how impressed I was before I even read a single word of your story. Your Site was so easy to navigate and it was really cool how the authors note popped up before the story. I loved your story, it was a classic tale that you were able to keep simple and easy to understand but also at the same time keep it interesting. Sometimes some of the reading in this class has me confused at times so I really enjoy reading a more "American" twist on a Indian epic. I'm having a really hard time to give you and critical feedback because I really enjoyed the story and couldn't find anything wrong. If there is one thing I could suggest it's to maybe expand upon the ending and talk more about what went on after the brother died. Good Luck with your next story!

  4. Hi Shary,
    Your site is so lovely! I can tell you have experience with making websites. I could never learn how to use Wix! It looks so professional, and I love how the author's note popped up before the story. Though it was sad and I am a sucker for happy endings, I really think it was a good retelling of the story. Like other comments said, I would try to give a little more detail on how Stephen lived on after his brother died. Did he change and how? Why was Vincent in a dark alley? Was there a further higher being that was listening to Stephen and granted his wish? Possibly a genie? Also, your colors really work! I love the red and white mixture in the beginning, and the black and white photos in the story. It makes me imagine an old murder mystery and allows the readers to kind of predict what's gonna happen next.
    Can't wait for your next story!

  5. Hi Shary!
    First of all, I love the layout of your storybook. The images that you used for both the home page and the header of the story fit the mood perfectly. I also like how you used Wix instead of Google sites, since there's a few more options that you can choose from and the pop up Author's Note was a nice touch. I do think that you gave away the ending of the story by saying that Vincent would die in the Author's Note, so it might not be necessary to include that detail in there. I liked how much thought and care that you put into the story of Stephen and Vincent, it was well-written and included lots of details, which really brought the story to life for me. One thing I was confused about was, if Vincent and Stephen were so close, why didn't they just talk to each other about the jealousy that they were feeling? All in all, great story!

  6. Shary,

    Dang girl! You got the moral of the story locked tight! Great job! Your site looks great, the title for your first story is intriguing, and I like the images you chose for your story. One correction I recommend is to make the text in your bibliography larger. It's hard to read. As you work through editing your story, you have parts where you have a good storytelling cadence and parts where it feels like you're fighting with the details of the story, and those details aren't falling in line with the rhythm of the rest of the story. I suggest having someone read your story to you while you have your eyes closed, and have them mark places that you notice the story fighting the flow so you can play around with those parts as you edit.

    I'm looking forward to finding out what other love stories you'll choose for your portfolio!


  7. Hi Shary! When opening your first story in your Portfolio, I love how the Author's Note automatically appears. Your note gives the readers a basis of what your story will further delve into. If it is possible, however, could you link the original stories when you refer to the episode number (for example, "Episodes 42 through 44"? I only suggest this because I believe there are different versions of the Ramayana, which may not all be divided into episodes or the same episode number. Therefore, it would be helpful for the reader to directly view the original story when you refer to it as an inspiration for your story. As I was reading your story I love how you have very descriptive sentences that consist of only a few words. You do this many times throughout your story, which is very brilliant. It conveys the story without the extra fluff. Examples of this are "BOOM!! Then, silence fell" and "With pain, however, comes wisdom." Overall, you have done a great job with your first story! Keep up the good work!

  8. Hi Shary!

    I actually remember one of your stories about the separated twins! Anyways, I think it is super cook how you chose to do a portfolio based on love stories. Also, I have to say that you'r website looks SO GOOD!! It is probably one of the best ones I've seen! I think you have done a well rounded job with both website structure and story. I really enjoyed the story that paralleled Vali and Sugriva. Mainly because I wish Vali wasn't protrayed to be such a bad guy in the actual Ramayana. I mean, everything that Sugriva had, Vali had first! Giving him a bigger narrative was a good play. Also, the way you write makes it realy easy to follow the story! And the imagery/ pictures you use and include makes me feel like I can actually see/feel whats going on!

    Overall, This is a really cool project. Keep it up! I am excited to see the upcoming stories

  9. Hey Shary!
    I love your portfolio so far! I really like that I get to learn more about Vali as I feel like I do not know too much about him or Sugriva. I love your style of writing it is so engaging and keeps the reader wanting more especially your intro. I am glad you're going off the beaten path and making it your own because so many people just retell stories and not even in a creative way!

    Honestly I think your storybook is coming along really well and I am excited to keep up with you and it. Maybe just some grammar and punctuation things lord knows i need all the help in that department too. Besides that keep up the great work and enjoy the rest of your semester. Also stay healthy and safe!

  10. Hello again Shary! I jumped into Episode III of your story and I really enjoy how your Author’s note pops us as you go to read about the story. You gave some informative information about your writing and thought process and I like how it leads us into the story. Your website design has always been amazing and I love your choice of font that you use, it really pops out at us and is definitely different than some of the other options that I have in my own stories! I enjoy how you have some variation from the original story line while including some nice dialogue to bringing yours to life. I like to analyze format, sentence structure, and word choice and figure out things that I feel work well in developing a nice narrative or thought process and I believe yours’ comes together in a productive and informative, yet pleasant manner. Thanks for sharing!

  11. Hi Shary! Just talking about layout, I love how cute your storybook is decorated. It’s so easy to navigate but also has the “love story” romantic feel to it. I also really liked how the authors note pops up when you open a new story. I think that’s a really great idea because then your reader has your point of view fresh in their mind before they read the story!! Also, I think you’re stories are wonderfully rewritten. I didn’t even know the story about Vincent and Stephen was taken from the Ramayana, it was so good!! Overall, I think you’re paragraphs are done well! They are pretty consistent, nothing too long or too short. It greats a nice cohesive look for the reader. I love how the paragraphs are divided in Episode two specifically, very cute! Also, adding a video to episode three is such a smart idea! I feel like you’re probably a tech genius because of os all the animation and little things you have on the website. I, for one, would have no idea how to program some fo the things you have, so kudos to you for taking the project above and beyond! Great great job!

  12. Hey Shary,
    Your project was one of the first projects I commented on, so it was fun to comeback and see how it progressed after the rest of the semester. Not surprising to me at all, it has come along fantastically and you should be really proud of your work. You kept the theme going and all the extra work you did for your website and last story was great. It looks nice and wrapped up and ready for the masses. Impressive work considering all the craziness happening around us!


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